[Part 1]

在一個月黑風高的晚上,一女遭遇劫匪,害怕的說:
「大哥,我是花旗銀行的,剛被裁員,
 你看報導就知道了,我真的沒有錢......」

劫匪聽後竟然痛哭流涕地說:
「妹子,同行,我是AIG 的,
 你拿好識別證,後面那幫搶匪是貝爾斯登(Bear Sterans)的,
 你放心,我們決不搶自己人。
 對了!邊上那條路不要走,那邊是美林證券(Merrill)的。
 還有一對兄弟檔在草叢埋伏一段時間了......(雷曼兄弟Lehman Brothers)」

[自嗨翻成英文]

Joke of Citibank & Bear Sterans & other financial company

One dark night, a woman was caught by a robber.

She shrank and said:

I don't have any money, I just got fired by the Citibank, I really don't have any money. If you don't believe me, you can check the news.

Unexpectedly, the robbery burst into tears and said:

sis, we are in the same business, I am from the AIG. Be sure to wear your ID card, because there are a bunch of robbers back there from the Bear Sterans. Don't worry, we won't rob our people.

By the way, don't take the sideway, there are some guys from Merrill, and there are a couple of brothers called Lehman hide in the bushes for a while....

 

[歷史小記]

美林證券(Merrill Lynch),原以投資及研究金融商品之證券商,後發生交易員虧空,於2008/9被美國銀行宣布併購。

貝爾斯登(Bear Sterans),美國第五或第六大投資銀行,已被摩根大通(JPM)以上市市價的1/3超低價收購。

雷曼兄弟(Lehman Brothers),2008受次級房貸影響,股價跌至一元,因尋求金援未果,9月宣布破產。

 

[Part 2]
黑夜,一女遭遇劫匪,害怕的說:
「大哥,我是賣保險的,兩個月沒有業績了,還剛被裁員,
 你看報導就知道了,我真的沒有錢......

劫匪聽後竟然痛哭流涕地說:
「妹子,同行,俺原來是賣投資型保單的,後面那幫是賣連動債的,
 你放心,我們決不搶自己人。
 對了,邊上那條路不要走,那邊是銀行信用卡部門的。
 沒路可走了,另一條路還會遇到做法人放款的......
 妹子,以後還有證券業的會加入哪。
 我們的金融集團已經變成山寨了,劫匪多到要下山到市區才能找到出路。

 右邊巷也別走,他們是投信圈.........」

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